


Lobsters

by steviemarie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Ilse is a Bodt sibling too, Ymir and Marco are siblings, all the freckled people are Bodt's, background yumikuri, loosely based on friends, reader does not like hitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-07-26 13:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7575742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviemarie/pseuds/steviemarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just that cliche tale as old as time, boy likes sisters friend, boy gets over sisters friend, sisters friend like boy, boy comes home from university with a girlfriend. </p><p>Loosely based on certain scenes in Friends. </p><p>Fem!Reader x Marco // ongoing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One With the Unrequited Crush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my best friend](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+best+friend).



> So this is a thing I planned and wrote most of a couple of years ago for a friend who is both really into SNK and Friends. It is supposed to be loosely based on certain scenes on Friends. After I found it, not only did I want to finish it for her but I also wanted to rewrite the bulk of it too. I'm putting it here mainly for keeping all of my SNK fics somewhere together in a neat little archive, but if someone finds some entertainment in reading this than that's great too.
> 
> Title comes from this Phoebe quote; "Come on, you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws like..."

Your eyes follow her as she leans towards him, that stupid smug file on her dumb face. You watch as she leans into him and whispers something into his ear and your hand grips tighter on the cloth your rubbing along the counter in front of you. Your heart sinks as he laughs at whatever it is she said to him and presses a kiss into her cheek and you hate her, you really, really hate her and why is she even here? **Bitch** would be a more appropriate name for her, you think bitterly as your hand continues to furiously rub the cloth in circles and you don't even look down to see what you're doing.

 

Maybe it isn't fair that you don't like her, because in actuality you've barely spoken to her... but you have been told enough about her from your friend Ymir to know that she's apparently a snotty cow with an attitude problem, so you feel like you have enough information to form a valid opinion on her. And that opinion is that he deserves someone so much better than her and you can't wait for her to pack up and haul ass back to university and never come back.

 

His friend, the one who's name you can't remember (though you know it's something French) and has the stupid two-tone hair has also been watching them and you see his mouth open, his lips move and the withering look that crosses her face as her own lips mouth and just how taken aback Two-Tone looks at whatever it is she says to him. You also see her look back down at her phone and you see his lips move to form the word 'sorry' in Two-Tone's direction when he knows she can't see him.

 

Yeah, you stand by it. Bitch would be a better name, you don't know Two-Tone that well either, but from what you have seen of him is that he's kind of snappy, but ultimately harmless.

 

Someone clears their throat behind you and you start, the cloth dropping from your hand as you begin to internally pray to whoever it is that will listen to you that you're not about to get scolded by your boss, because you really need this job. “You know...” you breath a sigh of relief when you recognise that the voice belongs to Ymir, sure, you're probably about to get scolded anyway but hey, at least you're not going to lose your job because Ymir is pissy. “You've been rubbing that against the counter in a circle for the past fifteen minutes. Shit's not about to clean itself and I'm not about to go back and have to finish your work because you can't stop eyeballing Marco and Hitch and pay attention to what you're supposed to be doing. They really ain't that interesting, trust me on this one.

 

You open your mouth to argue your case and tell her that you absolutely weren't staring at Marco and his friends and... her (seriously though, who names their kid 'Hitch' it's gotta be a nickname for something right? You're not about to ask what though because that would involve having a conversation with her and you are not going there. And you're definitely not about to get into a conversation with Marco about his girlfriend). Before you can spit the words out though, you feel your cheeks heat up and you know that your body is betraying you. Oh great. A smirk crosses Ymir's face, oh yeah you're definitely blushing. “I was _not_ staring at your brother!” You hiss at her, but the smirk stays on her face.

 

But you know and she knows (and you know she knows) that your eyes have pretty much been fixed in the direction of Marco and Hitch since the moment they walked into the kitsch off-campus coffee shop that you and Ymir earn your money for books and nights out. It's pretty much a haven for some of the students of Jinae University, because it's cheaper and quieter than the Starbucks on-campus and you like it here. Sure, the people who come here would probably rather be in the trendy Starbucks but can't afford the prices but you like it because of the quietness and because the orders aren't as complicated as they would have been if you'd worked in the Starbucks. And you like it that you know most of your regulars too, without having to demand their names so you can scribble it on the cups.

 

And you know for a fact that Hitch doesn't appreciate this place the way you, Ymir and Marco do because when she'd come in and ordered from Ymir (you'd conveniently gone into the storage cupboard to 'look for something' when you saw her approach the counter) and you'd heard her moaning that the menu was too simple and the place looked trashy with all it's comfy armchairs and the one sofa in the middle of the room (the one she was sat on now so she couldn't have hated it that much...)

 

Ymir just gives you another knowing look.

 

“I'm fine, honestly.” You reassure her. “I've just got a paper to write later and it's just distracting me is all.”

 

“Uh-huh,” Ymir knows you're lying to her and she gives you an agitated look. Her most agitated look, in fact, the one that used to terrify you but after years of friendship just makes you roll your eyes and ignore it. “I really hope this paper is for Marco Bodt 101 then, because if it is you're going to nail it considering how intently you're studying for it. When you get your A+ we'll go out and celebrate, I'll treat you at the Starbucks.” She just smirks back at the look you give her. “This whole thing is disgusting. Not only do you have to have a crush on someone with a penis, no, but out of all the boys in Jinae you go for **Marco**.” She shakes her head in disdain. “And not only that you have to wait until _now_ to realize that you like him. Because doing it when he was still in love with you was just too fucking simple for you, wasn't it? Idiots. The pair of you are idiots.”

 

It's your turn to shoot her an agitated glare. Sure, there isn't really any denying that Ymir's older brother had once sort of liked you a little more than he should have liked his little sisters best friend, but it was never **love**. After all, you had both been in high school back then and no self-respecting older guy would pick their obnoxious little sisters' closest friend to fall in love with. And now you were all out of high school – Marco graduated the year before you and Ymir did – and you were all in college and you were certain that there were no traces of whatever tiny crush he'd once had left.

 

Especially not now that he'd done that semester at Stohess and met Hitch.

 

“No,” Ymir says, her tone bored because it's something she's said a lot. “We've been through this. He was definitely in love with you.” You and her had had this self same conversation dozens of times and she still insists on going through with it every damn time. Right down to the same expression of pity and disgust on her face. “I should know, I'm the one who had to live through him coping with it by asking about you constantly, when he though he was being all casual and slick about it.” She rolls her eyes. “And I'm the one who had to watch him be a loser and drop everything whenever I mentioned you were gonna sleep over or something, just so that he could be casually hanging out and get to see you. Oh! And all those dumb playlists he used to make and get me to pass on to you.” She pauses, trying to remember the rest of her little speech. “The soup! The soup that he used to make me bring you when you were sick. I mean, please, you can't have thought that was all me, it was just to shut him up nagging. And that week you and Reiner decided to date? Yeah, it was me who had to put up with him moping around the house for that entire week. That is not a _crush_ , that is borderline stalker behaviour. You're lucky he wasn't disappearing off with binoculars to hide in your bushes. He's dumb. Your blind AND dumb because you were the only one who didn't get it. Every. Body. Knew.” She pauses. “'Course, it's probably better that you didn't know because you thought he was a total dork and you would have broken his heart and then I would have had to kill you.”

 

You roll your eyes, you're not sure why Ymir pretends she doesn't care about her older brother when stuff like that slips out. She loves the bones of him really. “He _is_ a total dork.” You shoot back at her. And yeah he is a totally adorable dork who you were struggling with some serious ( _and seriously unwanted_ ) feelings for.

 

You'd be the first to admit that you'd always thought he was a little strange, but that didn't matter because you'd always liked him. Sure, not the way you did now, not back then but you'd liked hanging around with him at Ymir's house. He was an older boy who'd always been nice and sweet to you, most of your other friends elder siblings had certainly not treated you like that.

 

She was right though. You wouldn't have given him the time of day in a romantic sense back then, because he'd just been Ymir's really sweet older brother who got a bad case of the butterfingers around you. You'd always though he was a little cute though, with that smattering of freckles on his cheeks (not unlike Ymir's which are also kind of adorable but you're never going to tell her that because you aren't looking to get hit) and those real intense brown eyes that would look _right into yours_ when he spoke to you.

 

You knew the freckles didn't stop at his cheeks either, because you'd seen him in a towel a few times when he hadn't realized you weren't around (and you still considered it lucky that he didn't go all butterfingers around you then and drop it).

 

If you were asked to pick a moment when you'd started to see him as just Marco and not Marco, Ymir's older brother it would have probably been at the beginning of the school year after Marco had graduated. You hadn't really gotten to see a lot of them over that summer, because your parents had packed your family up and gone to an extended family vacation to your Aunt's beach house. So instead of lying around spending time with your friends, you'd spent that summer lying around on a beach with your cousins and Grandparents.

 

When you'd gotten back to Jinae and gone to see Ymir, you'd found out that even though Marco was only going to the university on the other side of town, he'd decided to go completely independent and move out of his parents house and into a room on campus. And so from then on, you stopped seeing so much of him and started appreciating how much of a fixture he'd been in your life, because Ymir's house felt... weird without him in. Like you still expected him to pop up in the kitchen when you were getting snacks, or come into Ymir's room to ask her an important question that was never ever really that important. Or invite himself to watch movies with the two of you and sit on the couch next to you, your hands brushing every so often when you reached for the bowl of snacks.

 

At first you'd assumed that it was just because you were so used to seeing him around the house, but eventually you figured out that it was because... well, you missed having him around, appearing for little chats when you were waiting for Ymir to get out of the shower. And you missed seeing him around the hallways in school, because he would always wave to Ymir because he knew how much she _hated_ it.

 

You even missed those dumb indie rock playlists that he'd thought you'd like. He'd never been wrong though, you still loved every song on them.

 

You never really saw him around after he was gone too, even though Jinae University was not far at all. Ymir had told you all about how he didn't come home that often because he'd made a bunch of new friends and he'd started working on top of all of his studying. It even took you a while to figure out the pattern that when Ymir would get 'busy' some random weekends, the next time she spoke to you she'd be all talk about how Marco had been home and their parents had _forced_ her to stay home and hang around with him which was so unfair because he was such a loser.

 

And you always let her think that you believed it, because if you told her that you had long figured out that she missed her brother a lot more than she was willing to let on and was making up plans so she could spend time with him.

 

A considerable amount of time passed before you saw him again and that was when the party for their mother had happened, right as you and Ymir were preparing to graduate from high school. She'd roped you in to help, naturally so that she and her Dad didn't have to do the whole thing herself and so she had some company when her Mom's friends came over to decorate in the afternoon while her Dad took her Mom out. They'd always had that nasty habit of asking her when she was going to get a boyfriend, after all.

 

You'd been helping one of the women set up the drinks table and you'd gone into the kitchen to fetch the rest of the plastic cups, because Ymir was too busy trying to put up the banner that had fallen down three times already. And when you'd come back, she'd abandoned the banner to one of the other women and was standing, arms crossed, talking to a guy. A guy who hadn't crossed your mind in a while and a guy you didn't know would be coming, though of course he would be.

 

A guy who'd looked up at you when you'd walked back into the room and had positively beamed at you. It had taken you a second to realize that you knew that smile, those dark eyes, to connect him with those freckles.

 

Your first though had been _oh hey, that guys kinda hot_.

 

Your second had been _oh fuck, that's Marco?_

 

It had taken you a few minutes to pull yourself together and give more than one word responses back at him as he asked you about how things were going with high school and were you excited to graduate and how was your family and hey he heard you'd been offered a place at Jinae just like Ymir and that it was a great school and college was going great for him.

 

You were so overwhelmed and it kind of felt like your heart was about to leap right out of your chest and up into your throat. Obviously by then you'd knew you'd missed him, but the extent of it hadn't hit you until he was standing in front of you.

 

And boy, had it hit you then.

 

It had scared you that your brain was telling you that you should go fall into his lap and wrap your arms around him and kiss those freckles. He was Marco. Marco Bodt. Your closest friends older brother and you weren't supposed to be this happy to see him and you certainly weren't supposed to be looking at him this way, thinking about him this way when all he seemed to want to tell you was about his room mate and new found best friend, the one with the French name. Jean? Jean! Yes, that was definitely it. He was completely unaware that you were stood there trying to argue with your brain that in fact, no brain, climbing him like a pole would probably not go well right now thanks.

 

Of course Ymir had noticed though and as soon as her mother was in the house, surprises had been yelled and she was circling the room happily chattering to her son, her husband and her friends, Ymir had corned you, the first thing she told you was that she'd seen the way you'd been looking at Marco and uh, what the fuck was that all about, you weirdo.

 

You'd obviously denied it, but Ymir being Ymir wouldn't accept that for an answer.

 

And she'd been like a dog with a bone about the subject and hadn't let it go since.

 

It was during the summer, two weeks before infact, you had entered Jinae University that you'd gotten the job at the coffee shop and began to see Marco almost every day. Most of the previous summer days had been spent denying both to Ymir and yourself, that you had feelings for him.

 

And it became impossible to deny those feelings for him.

 

It had become your time to have your heart beat faster every time you saw him, for your mouth to go dry when he spoke to you. Though you were happy that because you'd spent so long denying those feelings for him you'd already managed to bypass the stuttering and blushing phase. Because you were not about to let yourself go like that over boys. Especially not boys who were related to your year.

 

Three days before you were due to start at Jinae he'd come into the coffee shop with a group of his friends and it had been a day like today, really. You'd pretended to pay attention to what you were doing and Ymir had come over to yell at you about how she wasn't going to pick up your slack and to get a clue. She'd still ended up having to re-wipe down the counters that day and she'd never let you forget it since.

 

That was also the day that you decided that fuck it, you were just going to tell Marco about your feelings for him. Mainly because there was a girl with her dark hair in pigtails who'd been near constantly touching his arm and you weren't about to let her get there first. The next hour of your shift after that had been spent trying to mentally prepare yourself a speech of things to say to him. Yeah, you'd had it all figured out – when he come over to order another drink, or just to say bye because he was leaving you were going to ask him if he wanted to hang out after work. You weren't sure where to hang out mind, because all you could seem to think was 'go for coffee' and that wouldn't exactly work when you'd been serving it all day.

 

He'd think you were making it joke.

 

Ultimately, you'd never gotten the chance to ask him to hang out so that you could confess your feelings, because when he had come to the counter, it wasn't to speak to you, it was to harass Ymir to make sure she came home for dinner that night because it was his last night in Jinae before he left for his _semester in Stohess_.

 

Well. That had been news to you, because neither him nor Ymir had thought to tell you.

 

You removed yourself from the situation while they discussed it. Made out that you were taking a break so that you could use the bathroom. You'd gone to the bathroom alright though and you'd sat there and you'd cried.

 

Cried because you never got the chance to tell him how you felt, cried because he was leaving, but mostly cried because Ymir hadn't thought that this was important enough to tell you when she knew the feelings you had for her brother. _She_ was the one who was forever bringing up the Marco thing, making you deny it. Surely, she'd have known that you would have liked to know. You'd casually brought it up the next day in the coffee shop (the pair of you both knew there was nothing casual about it whatsoever, though) and she'd shrugged and said that it was just a semester. It wasn't forever. “Besides,” she'd said with a shrug as she'd hit the button on the industrial coffee machine to let a shot of espresso into the drink she was preparing. “As you've told me about a million times now, you're not into him so why should it matter to you that he's not going to be around for a couple of months?”

 

You could have hit her. It was times like these which made you strongly wonder why this friendship had lasted so long, especially when she gave you _that_ knowing look. You hated that look so much.

 

Besides, she was right, because it was only one Stohess semester and then he'd be back and it wasn't like you'd been waiting for like, forever to actually bring up these feelings anyway. You could do this, you could survive one semester and then you could tell him and he'd be back in Jinae forever and Ymir could tease you forever about it, but then at least you'd know where you stood in his eyes.

 

If he still liked you, or if he'd downgraded you to his immature little sisters friend.

 

And so you'd waited. And waited. You'd focused on your studies, on your friends and tried to spend your time thinking about things that weren't him, like the astronomy class you didn't even know you'd picked up. You focused on supporting Ymir, who in the second month of school, had realized that the feelings she had for the little blonde hipster that she was always seeing around campus and in the coffee shop were not going to go away and she'd chosen you as the first person to say the words you'd already long known about her out loud. And you couldn't have been prouder of your fierce, freckled best friend. Neither could any of the new friends the two of you had met in your classes.

 

Which hey, was good because it gave you new people to hang out with outside of work when the little blonde Christa and Ymir had totally become a joined-at-the-hip thing and she was suddenly unavailable as she tried to figure out how to juggle her class, work and girlfriend schedules.

 

Yeah, your college life was sweet and you loved meeting all these new people and having all these distractions. Still didn't stop the lingering thoughts of Marco in the back of your mind, didn't stop you from every so often calculating just how long it would be when he'd get back and you could tell him.

 

And as time ticked closer, Ymir had been the one to tell you that it had happened. You'd been at work and she seemed a lot more distracted than she usually would be. You'd of course, thought that something had happened between her and Christa because Christa hadn't been into the coffee shop during your shift to claim her usual (free) coffee and hang round the counter chatting to you and Ymir and occasionally your boss who freaking loved having her around and had more than once casually threatened to give her your job.

 

You were trying to work up the nerve to talk to Ymir during a slow period where the boss was nowhere to be seen, nervous about throwing the subject at her and upsetting her if it was true. She'd gotten there first when you'd approached her though. Swallowed and drawled. “Hey, I think there's something I need to tell you. Even though I know that you're repeatedly telling me that you don't have feelings for my brother, sometimes when I haven't even mentioned him.” She sighed. “I think you'd probably like, no need, to know about this.” And as soon as the words 'my' and 'brother' had left her lips your stomach had dropped and you felt a little sick. “Christa and I skyped with him last night and there was a girl hanging out in his room.”

 

 **Oh**. Well you hadn't been expecting that, him injured or staying at Stohess yes maybe, but another girl? A girl who wasn't you.

 

Ymir ran a nervous hand through her hair. “He didn't like, introduce her to me or anything and she didn't even really pay attention to me, she was just there on her laptop pretty much, but uh I did see her looking at him a few times and she...” Ymir had sighed again. “Look, she looks at him the way you did when you pretend you're not looking at him.”

 

Oh well, you felt more than a little sick now.

 

“The thing is though... He kept looking back at her the way he used to look at you.” Yeah, you were gonna throw up. You turned your back on Ymir, refused to look at her because you knew you were about to cry. But you felt a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I'm really sorry.”

 

 


	2. The One Where Everybody Hates Hitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is better, I promise.

It was only two days after that that Ymir decided to tell you that during their next Skype session, Marco had told her that he'd started dating someone and since then, Hitch had become somewhat of a figure in your life – despite that back then you'd never _actually_ met her.

 

Ymir had taken an instant dislike to her and you would have liked to have thought that this was Ymir's way of somewhat supporting you and being on your side, but you suspected it was more likely a case of Ymir being herself – after all, it took her quite a while to warm to _anyone_.

 

And uh, you actually had this fear that after Ymir had met her in the flesh, she was gonna warm to her after she met her because she was only basing this dislike on a few Skype conversations and honestly, you were so glad that that had never happened. You had vivid memories of her walking into work the day after she'd met her for the first time and announcing to you, Christa and a handful of stray customer “I was right, she's just a bitch.”

 

That just made you glad that you'd turned down Ymir's 'kind' invite to come over for dinner and meet her the night before. Nah, you were just happy that Marco didn't decide to swing by the coffee shop. Especially because the more Ymir told you, the more it became apparent that not only did Ymir not like her, neither did Mr and Mrs Bodt. It had made you wonder if once the semester at Stohess was up, Hitch would be a done thing for good, because Marco was never one to disappoint his parents.

 

If only it had turned out that way.

 

Hitch had visited Jinae a few times since Marco had been back, she still remained unpopular with Ymir and the rest of the Bodt family (and you were including Christa on that, because you'd seen the way she'd react when she was around her), Marco's fans weren't exactly fans of hers either.

 

And obviously, you most certainly weren't. At first you'd forced yourself to accept that _this_ was it. That he had a girlfriend now and things with him were never going to happen because he 'belonged' to someone else and even if she wasn't the nicest person, she still didn't know that she'd stolen your would-be boyfriend from right under your nose.

 

Then you'd met her in person.

 

And she'd looked you up and down.

 

A small smirk had appeared on her face and she'd said, “Oh, so you're...” your name had fallen from her lips with disgust.

 

And she hadn't said another word to you, other than to complain about how long she was waiting for her orders because apparently you weren't fast as the baristas in those big coffee chains, or to complain that your collection of syrup was lacking her favourites.

 

Each time this happened you really had to bite your lip to stop yourself from asking her if it was really coffee she wanted, or did she want you to make her a glorified milkshake because it was barely coffee by the time you were done making it for her.

 

That's why you preferred working here and not in the campus Starbucks, or one of those bigger chains in the nearest shopping town. You would have gotten too frustrated, because really what is the point of getting a coffee when you don't like the taste of coffee.

 

All of that had just led you to be more determined not to give up on Marco and your campaign to make him see what a cow his girlfriend actually was had begun because you knew him and you knew that she definitely wasn't the type of person he should be with.

 

You just had to prod him in the right direction to actually step back and take a good look at her, once his whole stupid infatuation or whatever he had going on with her ended. You were pretty certain he'd drop her once he saw her for what she really was and you? Yeah, you'd be there to pick up the pieces. Because things would only get better from that, right?

 

You had to tell yourself that, to hide the thoughts of actually he probably wouldn't ditch her because that's just the type of person he was and if this relationship was going to end then... she was going to have to be the one to end it.

 

“Hey... She okay?”

 

“Yeah, she's been like this all afternoon. She's probably thinking about... well, you know exactly what she's probably thinking about.”

 

You blinked a couple of times, coming down from your trip down memory lane to see that Ymir was leaning across the counter, studying you with the most bored expression on her face. Ugh, you hadn't even noticed that you'd drifted off into your own thoughts and while you had, Christa had shown up and was, like Ymir, leaning against the counter staring at you. Only her expression wasn't one of boredom, it was of concern, with a little bit of amusement and... was that pity in her eyes? Gee, thanks Chris.

 

You looked past her, where Marco, Hitch and Marco's friends had been to see that, while you'd been lost in the depths of your mind, they'd left. So you hadn't even gotten a chance to say goodbye. God, you hoped you hadn't been staring at him when you were away with the memory fairies.

 

“I can't believe you still haven't finished with that counter yet,” Ymir glared down at your hand, still clutching the cloth in it. You automatically began to properly clean it, rubbing down more than the one circle. “And by the way, you missed Jean completely loosing his temper with Bitch... uh... _Hitch_ and the two of them storming off in different directions.” She grinned, widely. “It was so funny and Marco is going to be in _so_ much trouble because he spent far too long looking after Jean then after Hitch and back again, like he was watching a freakin' tennis match. He went after her, obviously, but it took him a while. She's gonna bury him. I can't wait until she fucks off back home.”

 

“I'm sure Jean's made about the Stohess thing, that's all.” Christa said quietly, looking at you with that pity in her eyes. Christa knew all about the whole feelings for Marco thing. Infact, she was pretty well versed in the whole history with him and you still weren't sure whether you should be flattered or annoyed that Ymir talked about you that much when it was just the two of them. You would have thought they'd have better things to be talking about and doing.

 

And wait, what Stohess thing?

 

Ymir cleared her throat. “She doesn't know about that yet.”

 

Wait what? What was going on? You didn't know about what exactly? You got a sinking feeling in your stomach and you really, really didn't like where this was going. Especially now that Christa wouldn't meet your eyes and Ymir just wouldn't look at you full stop. “What?”

 

“It's nothing, nevermind.” Christa shook her head. “All I was doing was asking if you were going to the party at Sasha's tonight, but you were far too spaced out to pay attention to me.” She cleared her throat and wow, she was lying right to your face.

 

You had definitely heard her say 'the Stohess thing'.

 

“Yeah,” You told Christa. “I was planning on it.” You looked from her to Ymir and back to her. “So, which one of you is going to tell me what's going on?”

 

Christa shook her head, looking to Ymir who shot an annoyed glance in her direction. “Well, last night Hitch and Marco told Mom and Dad that he's considering transferring to Stohess and going back for more than one semester.”

 


	3. The One with the Home Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've had enough.

You stood in front of the full-length mirror in your bathroom, studying the outfit that you'd picked to wear to Sasha's party tonight. Yeah, you weren't looking too bad if you didn't say so yourself. Pity you had no-one to appreciate how banging you looked though.

 

It had been a couple of hours since you'd finished up your shift and come home to get changed for the party. To be honest, no matter how good you looked tonight you didn't really feel like going. It hadn't been the best couple of hours, after all.

 

Christa could tell you were upset (well, so did Ymir probably but she either didn't feel like dealing with it or knew that her girlfriend would be better at cheering you up) and so she'd taken to speaking at you near-constantly about anything that entered her mind in what you guessed was an ill-advised attempt to distract you while there were no customers about.

 

It hadn't worked.

 

She'd also offered to walk you home after your shift was done, but you knew that she and Ymir would rather have some alone time together before the party and that your house wasn't right on their route and honestly, you'd just wanted to be alone with your thoughts.

 

Because you'd still clung onto that hope. That pathetic hope that Marco would actually get a clue about this dumb situation and his dumb not good enough for him girlfriend but... now he was actually considering transferring schools for probably what was no other reason than to be around her _more_? No, you couldn't hold out any more, all of that hope was gone and you were done.

 

Just done.

 

So you didn't want to go to Sasha's party. You didn't want to watch your friends drink and then get sappy with each other. You wanted to go home, crawl into your bed, phone work and tell them you were ill and just stay there for the next few days alone and pretending that this wasn't happening. Yeah, pretend that everything you'd hoped for wasn't falling down around your ears and hopefully emerge feeling better and ready to move on with your life.

 

You knew you couldn't avoid the facts though. You knew that this was going to hurt for a while and the more you let yourself think about it and let it consume you, the longer it was going to take and there was a possibility that you wouldn't even get over it.

 

You'd force yourself to let any small semblance of hope because it wasn't fair to hold onto it, not now that things were final. And so you'd forced yourself to go and take a shower, to wash your hair and to carefully pick through your wardrobe to find an outfit that you loved, one that would make you happy, you forced yourself to find matching accessories and you spent ages on trying to do the perfect wings (you'd ended up fucking it up so royally that you'd taken your whole face off and started again) and then you'd ended up here, contemplating your bad self in front of the full-length mirror.

 

You didn't mean to be vain, but the longer you looked at yourself the more attractive you seemed to feel. Sure, you weren't the prettiest girl in Jinae (you were pretty sure that that accolade belonged to Christa) but you'd definitely grown into your looks in the past couple of years and your features, with a lack of better description, really suited your face. You knew that beauty was in the eye of the beholder and hell, you hated to be that girl but you'd definitely place yourself above Hitch. Hitch was pretty, but it as in her own way because her features were sharp and she had somewhat of a smug face (you weren't sure if that was just her face or if she was just actually that smug because you'd never seen her not looking smug) and God why couldn't you just drop her from your mind why were you stood here thinking about things like this?? Why did you have to compare yourself to another girl??

 

But if it wasn't your _looks_ that made him want **her** over **you** then it must have been your personality then? Surely? Marco had been attracted to you before, so did that mean that back when he liked you in high school you were a raging bitch?? You'd never thought of yourself like that, sure you'd always hung out with Ymir who could be blunt and occasionally kind of scathing, but you'd always thought of yourself as the one who kept her somewhat grounded and wasn't afraid to tell her to reign it in when she was going a little too far.

 

But then, at the same time when Ymir had you in the right mood you could give her back what she gave...

 

You swallowed and whirled round, turning your back on the mirror. No, you weren't doing this anymore. You didn't want to feel like this, doubt yourself. No you needed to forget this whole thing had happened, let go of what was going to happen because it wasn't technically your business and just go meet Ymir and hang out with your friends without Hitch and Marco in the back of your mind. You took in a deep breathe, held it for a second and slowly exhaled it out , your way of pushing all your worries away.

 

And then after grabbing your shoes and your bag from your room, you were gone.

 

Tonight it was going to get better. Starting from **now**.

 

~*~*~

 

Okay, it was going to get better soon, definitely. Just maybe not... right now because instead of going straight to Sasha's house, you'd ended up having to go and meet Christa and Ymir from Ymir's place. And if you'd turned her down, then maybe you wouldn't be here right now. Sitting in the Bodt's house, listening to Christa, Marco and Hitch make small talk as Ymir was upstairs.

 

The text she'd sent you when she'd asked you to come meet them instead had said that the both of them were going to be ready to leave, it had explicitly said that or you wouldn't have come over, you'd have gone directly to Sasha's – do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars – but no, because she was Ymir and because she sucked and she underestimated things, Christa had sheepishly told you that she'd only started getting ready like ten minutes before you'd arrived and she'd just gotten out of the shower. So now you had to wait for her to dry her hair and get dressed.

 

And boy, were you fucking uncomfortable. You should have turned and left when you'd seen Christa's expression, but no, apparently you were the world's biggest push-over as you sat there, staring at the wall in front of you, giving off what you knew must have been terrible vibes (you felt Christa's eyes on you every minute or so, obviously checking to see that you were okay, maybe some of them could have been Marco you didn't know you weren't about to turn round and find out) but you didn't care. You and Ymir were going to have a long fucking talk when you got her ass downstairs and out of the door.

 

“So,” you heard Christa clear her throat as the conversation she'd been having with Hitch tapered off and by the lilting tone of her voice which she was oh so desperately trying to keep casual, you just knew what the tiny blonde pixie was going to say. And it made you pull your eyes away from the wall and full on _glare_ at her hoping she'd get the message and drop the subject. She, however, didn't. “Have you made a decision about the Stohess thing yet? You're going to have to put in transfer papers really soon, right?” She wouldn't look at you, she must have thought that she was somehow helping.

 

She was not somehow helping.

 

You couldn't help sneaking a glance at him to see how he was going to react to the question, though. And he opened his mouth to speak, then seemed to think better of it and closed it to clear his throat. But he didn't get to answer. Or if he did get to answer, then he'd somehow psychically sent his thoughts to the girl on the couch next to him and asked her to answer for him, but judging by the way his freckled face creased into a frown, you were guessing that wasn't the case.

 

“He's still being picky about it,” was Hitch's reply for him with a laugh. “But y'know we all know that he's going to end up transferring, because he's not stupid and he knows how much better it will be for him there. Stohess is a better school, that's just a fact and so he's gonna have better advantages for internships and when the time comes, an actual career. No offence, but I've been on the Jinae campus and I wouldn't want to go to school there.” She paused to laugh again. “No way, come on if you guys came to Stohess you'd see how much better the campus was – we've got more than one Starbucks for a start, oh and it so much cleaner there. Better class of students if I do say so myself, what kind of person doesn't get _dressed_ to go to a morning lecture? Oh and the dorm rooms are so much better, okay well I haven't actually see the dorm rooms at Jinae, but hey if everything else about Stohess is better then they must be right? Of course, you're only allowed to live in them for a little while, so we'd have to get an apartment eventually, of course, but that means we could get a cat.”

 

Wow.

 

There was _nothing_ wrong with Jinae. Who the fuck did she think she was? Okay, sure just like she'd never seen the dorms at Jinae, you'd never actually been on the Stohess campus but from the way she was speaking it made it sound like Stohess was a school full of _hers_. And you couldn't imagine a worse place, especially if everyone was as stuck up as she was. And you seriously couldn't imagine sweet, friendly Marco fitting in at a place where everyone else seemed to want to outdo each other.

 

Oh and you were pretty sure that he was kind of allergic to cats. Because you'd seen him fuss over kittens in the street and then seen the way he sneezed and croaked afterwards. Dogs however, he'd fussed over your family dog and let her sit in his lap for hours before and you'd seen his YouTube likes – all puppy videos and rarely a kitten in sight.

 

“Oh... Wow...” Christa replied, you couldn't help but smirk because she looked exactly how you felt. She was silent for a second, probably thinking of something nice to say. She ended up settling on “Well, Christa would be a really cute name for a kitten.” You mentally face palmed. She really was the sweetest little pixie and she always looked for the best in people, but you couldn't see this ending well.

 

Hitch shot her her trademark smirk-y look. “Christa's kind of an ugly name really, don't you think?” And no. No fucking way. You would put all the money in your bank account on the fact that out of all of Marco's friends, family and acquaintances – perhaps with the exception of his parents – _Christa_ had been the one to make the most effort. Christa had been the only one who hadn't given up on trying to be nice to her. Christa had been the one to tell you and Ymir that you should give her a chance. Christa was a fucking angel to her and she was not doing this.

 

“Your name is Hitch though,” you snapped back at her, feeling Christa flinch next to you and seeing the slight look of alarm that crossed Marco's face. “I don't think you really get to decide who's name is ugly or not.” You knew that irritation was positively _dripping_ from your voice, but you didn't care. You'd been ready to be done with her ages ago, ready to ignore her before Ymir had invited you over, but fucking nope, now that you had opened your mouth you weren't about to stop. “And while we're at it, if you ask me I think Jinae sounds like a much better school than Stohess. Jinae's a good city, there's a lot of fantastic people and opportunities here and so what that it's not a huge school like Stohess, just means that you're more likely to get ahead because it's not as cut throat with all those people trying to take them. And it's not dirty, I don't know what the hell you think you've seen but we care about our campus, so if anyone has dropped anything on the floor I guarantee it's gone the very next time someone sees it. And it's really fucking sad that because you're from a big city, you think you can come here and talk shit about everything without giving it a chance, it's so sad for you that you don't see what a great place to live and work and study it is here. You spat with malice, glaring at the way her dumb lips curled up into that fucking smirk. “Oh and Marco doesn't even like cats that much, he's a dog person, so don't pretend you know everything about him.”

 

“What did you say your name was again?” Hitch cocked her head to one side like a confused dog , raising an eyebrow, but that smug smirk still permanently fixed on her face and ugh, you kind of wanted to punch her. In the face. Hard.

 

You didn't get the chance to open your mouth to reply though, because Christa did it for you, telling her your name, which was probably for the best because you were ready to tell her it and then rant at her about how own damn name and demand to know if her parents just really hated her of if she had an even uglier name that she was hiding and using that as a nickname.

 

“Oh.” Hitch replied to her, rolling her eyes and repeating your name. “So you're _her,_ right. Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.” She paused and laughed lightly. “While we're on the subject of names that are good for animals... sounds like the perfect name for a dog to me.”

 

You could have yelled at her, could of raised your voice again and told her that she needed to go the fuck back to Stohess and _stay there_ whether she ended up taking Marco with her or not, she just needed to get the hell out. You could have picked up the glass of soda in front of Christa and thrown it at her smug fucking face. Part of you longed to do these things, but you instead chose to just leave the situation instead of ripping her hair from her scalp. “I'm just gonna meet you and Ymir at Sasha's.” You said to Christa and then shut the door behind you, giving yourself a moment to gather your thoughts.

 

You hated how much of a rise she'd gotten out of you from such a dumb comment. You hated how much you hated her. You hated the whole damn situation, but mostly, you hated how uncomfortable you now felt at staying in the Bodt's household. The place where you'd spent so much time, which was your second home that you were always welcome in. But it had been compromised. You couldn't be there while she was. She knew what you thought of her and it was damn clear that she didn't think much of you (though 'I've heard a lot about you?' what was that all about?)

 

As you pushed yourself up and off of the wall, walking towards the front door you heard Christa's voice calling your name behind you, but you ignored it and ripped the front door open, slamming it behind you.

 

Outside, you took a deep breathe, filling your lungs with air, half wondering if it was okay to just not go to the party and go home. Walking left once you'd left the gate would take you home where you could crawl into bed and wallow, but right would take you on towards Sasha's house. The former sounded the best right now, but you knew if you went down that route then the phone calls would start and not stop until you picked up. Ymir had your house number, so even if you turned off your cell, then all that would do would end up getting your family involved. At least for now, until you got to Sasha's you could turn off you cell.

 

You reached into your bag to... wait, where was your bag? Oh fuck, you hadn't picked it up when you'd stormed out of the house and after that exit you couldn't go back in and grab it could you? Looks like you'd definitely have to go to Sasha's then and hope that Christa thought to bring it along with her and Ymir, because now you were left with no phone, no money incase of an emergency and no keys to actually get back into your house, because if you went home and knocked until someone let you in then you'd just end up having to explain the whole damn story to whoever let you in. And before you'd even finished, the whole fucking family would know, probably including your Aunt Rico who lived on the other side of the world.

 

You were just about to carry on stalking down the road when you heard a voice calling your name behind you. Oh really? Seriously? Out of everyone in that damn house – Christa, Ymir, their sister Ilse and their parents who would have definitely heard what was going down, _he_ had to be the one to follow you out, didn't he. With a big sigh, you turned round to face him, your bag clutched in his hand and a slight look of shell-shock on his freckled face. He was probably trying to process just what had happened in there as much as you were. “Everything okay...?” He asked, holding your bag out.

 

You snatched it from his hand. “Everything is just fine.” You chirped back at him sarcastically. “It was time to leave, it was getting far too uncomfortable in there.” You saw him open his mouth and had an inkling about what he was going to say so you cut him off. “Don't you dare tell me to come back inside in and wait for Ymir, I'll come back when _she's_ gone. She's going back to Stohess soon right? Or is she waiting for you to carry on messing around with this stupid decision thing? Because please, tell me now so I know not to come round and stop in on Ymir for the next whatever.”

 

He blinked, still looking quite dazed about the whole situation. “..I'm sorry.” He mumbles. “About everything, but uh especially the way she spoke to you.”

 

You shook your head angrily. “No. I don't want an apology from her and I definitely don't want you to apologize for her because Marco, you shouldn't have to. She shouldn't act like that in the first place.” You snapped at him. “All she's done since she's been here is upset and piss everyone off, how is she that stupid that she hasn't figured out how to speak to someone like a decent human being? For crying out loud, I'm not even the only person she's upset today, how could you sit there and let her talk to Christa like that?! Christa is the nicest person and she's done nothing but be nice to her, hell, she's done nothing but be nice to everyone. And Ymir told me about how she upset Jean earlier and you looked like you didn't know which one of them to go after! Do you even like her?!”

 

“Ymir... told you...? But you were standing right there when it happened.”

 

“Yeah well I had better things to do than stand there watching you guys, Marco. I wasn't paying attention.”

 

Marco swallows. “Are you okay? You've been weird lately.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Not even lately, not just while Hitch's been visiting, it's like... since I've come back from Stohess you've changed, you're different these days.”

 

You rolled your eyes. “I'm just peachy keen,” you drawled. “I'm busy trying to adapt to college and classes and work all at the same time, I'm always tired.” Okay, it was the first excuse you came up with but it was believable, but you weren't about to have * **that** * conversation with him right now, not in the middle of the street. “And trust me Marco, I'm not the one who's changed.”

 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

 

“You're the one who's changed, since you came back from Stohess. The Marco that I knew would never lower himself to hanging around someone like that.” You spat. “The Marco I knew was nice, he wouldn't let someone treat people he cared about like that. And I guess you're not the same.”

 

He opened his mouth, but you shook your head again.

 

“I don't wanto to hear it,” you snarled back at him, turning your back on him and carrying on towards Sasha's, only pausing to shout over your shoulder at him. “Seriously Marco, who hurt you?”

 

 


	4. The One Where You're Over Him

“Reiner!” You squealed, louder than you realize as you tottered over to him, your legs and brain not working as in tandem as you’d like them to. Another beer -- your sixth, maybe, you lost count awhile back -- clutched in your hand as you almost collapse into his lap. He reaches a hand up to steady you, shooting a look at the taller boy next to him that does not escape you, you don’t care, you’re just happy to see him because it’s been a whole ten minutes since you left him. 

“Careful,” he moves his hand from your lower back when he’s satisfied that you’re not going to fall over. “You were about to spill.”

A gasp passes your lips. “No!” 

“Yes,” Reiner nods at you. “So I think you’d better stay on your butt for the rest of the night, okay?”

You frown. “You’re no fun. Might wanna dance later.” 

He just ignores you and turns to the boy next to you as you sip your bitter, hoppy drink from the red plastic cup in your hand. You don’t really pay much attention to what the two of them are hissing about between them, but you hear your number one gal pal Ymir’s name a couple of times and then with a final hiss from Reiner, Reiner’s friend gets up and leaves the two of you alone.

“You okay?” He turns to you and asks.

“Did I tell you about Marco’s stupid girlfriend?” You asked, eyeing him over the top of the red plastic and he pulls a face, but again summons up a smile for you.

“You might have mentioned it,” he tells you. “One... or two... or seven times tonight already.”

You, however, ignore him and launch into a rant again. “I don’t know who she thinks she is why can’t she just go back to her stupid life at her stupid university and get out of my life.” You pause to take another sip of your drink. “They’re getting a cat together.” You gesture wildly, brown liquid sloshing over the top of your cup and onto you. 

Reiner, smartly, reaches out and takes it from your grip. “Okay. Let’s just put this down for now.” 

“Who gets cats these days?!” You ask, angrily. “Do people still even like cats?” 

“Yeah,” Reiner discreetly tips the contents of the plastic cup into a plant pot next to the sofa the pair of you are sat on. “Quite a lot of people do, most of the world in fact.” He takes one look at the pout on your face and sighs. “That doesn’t mean that Marco should get one with a girl he hasn’t known that long. Has he mentioned cats before?”

“He likes ‘em, but he’s ‘llergic.” 

Reiner bites down on his lip to suppress the laugh that’s bubbling up inside of him, both at the look of your face, all pouty and cheeks puffed out, and the way that you’re words are starting to blend into one and not sound like they’re supposed to. Yeah, if you try and get another drink again he may have to tackle you, you’re too far gone and you’re really going to be feeling it in the morning. He does not pity who’s going to have to look after you. “Oh.”

“But y’know what, Rei?” 

He cringes at the nickname. “What?”

“I don’t care. Marco can do what he wants. If he wants to get killed to death by sneezing at a cat, he can get killed to death by sneezing at a cat.” You make a slashing motion against your neck with your hand and it takes all of Reiner’s willpower to suppress more laughs at the way you overexeggaretedly shake your whole head. “I don’t care, I’m over it.” 

“Yeah, you said you were over it half an hour ago as well, babe. Nice to see it sticking.”

“No!” You shake your head. “I’m really, really over it now, Rei. And you know what? I’m over stupid Marco and his stupid face and his stupid cute freckles as well. Because he just sucks and his freckles suck too.”

“Yeah,” Reiner agrees with you, knowing that that’s just the best thing he can do at this point. “You’re over him.” 

“Because he’s stupid and I need another drink now.”

“Because he’s stupid.” Reiner parrots. “You don’t need another drink though.”

“Do.”

“Don’t.” And Reiner knows you need to be distracted. “So are you going to tell him?” 

“Tell who?” You ask, cocking your head to the side.

“Marco. Tell Marco that he sucks.”

“Yes!” You nod enthusiastically. “He really does, doesn’t he? I’m so glad I’m not the only one who can see it.” You pause and then your eyes positively light up and Reiner immediately gets a terrible feeling. “Reiner!”

“...What’s up?”

You ignored him though, fishing through your handbag until you procured what you’d clearly been looking for. Your phone. Yeah, Reiner has a real bad feeling about this. “I’m gonna call him.”

“...Maybe you shouldn’t do that. I’ll tell you what, I’ll go see if I can find Ymir, okay? Bertholdt was supposed to get her but it appears he’s gotten lost...” There’s a tone of irritation in his voice and you flinch, thinking he’s aiming it towards you. 

“Don’t need Ymir.” You tell him, flicking through your contacts before pressing a button. “Oh, it’s voicemail.” 

Yeah, Reiner really doesn’t pity those who’re going to be looking after you in the morning. 

 

You opened your eyes and a “fuck!” fell from your lips before you slammed them shut again. What’s with all the bright lights? Did someone put a spotlight over your head or what while you were asleep?? Jeez, what did you do to deserve this? Not only is there a spotlight over your head, there’s also at least four miners digging in your brain and something in your stomach flipping it excessively, like it’s trying to make pancakes out of your gut. 

You tugged your duvet cover over your head, yeah there is absolutely nothing in this world that’s going to make you get out of bed today. You’re staying put, until you need to pee at least. Or potentially vomit if your stomach doesn’t calm down. You snuggle down into the bed, pulling your legs into yourself and you allow yourself to crack one eyelid open to see if it’s gotten any easier.

And -- oooh! -- on your bedside table is a glass of water, you were obviously smart before you got into bed because you realize just how incredibly thirsty you are. You shifted yourself up against the pillows, peeping out from half-closed eyes and hey... there’s a couple of aspirin with this water too. God, you were seriously smart when you got home last night. 

You popped the pills into your mouth, greedily draining the glass of water and allowed yourself to open your eyes fully after blinking a couple of times.

And when they were fully open, you had to blink again.

Where.

The.

Fuck.

Are. 

You. 

This is not your room, you gripped the duvet cover closer to you as you take in your surroundings trying to piece together where you are and how you ended up here. Sure, it’s familiar, like you’ve been here before but it’s not yours. You swallow and peek under the duvet cover... well... you’re still dressed at least so... maybe no mistakes happened. 

Your eyes took in the navy star patterned duvet cover that you’re lying under, the dinosaur figures on top of the chest of drawers, the book shelf full of astrology books. And -- oh God -- the framed pictures in front of said books, that all seemed to follow a pattern. 

Marco and Jean in front of a plastic T-Rex. 

Marco and an elderly man who you recognize as Marco’s dead grandfather.

Marco, his sisters and parents clearly at his graduation ceremony.

And suddenly, where you know this room you’ve been in dozens of times comes back to you. 

You blink at the book shelf, taking in the pictures again and something catches your eye -- that’s not a book, is it? It’s another frame that’s been shoved inbetween two thick novels. 

Cautiously you edge your way down to the bottom of the bed, every movement sending waves of dizziness through your body until you’re within reaching distance to pull it out. And yeah, it’s another framed picture -- one that’s clearly been shoved out of the way to hide it away from someone, but not so much that it’s needed to be put away completely.

You gather it’s so Hitch didn’t see it and... for some reason... maybe he was going to get it back out when she was gone?

It’s another picture of him, but this time he’s with you. 

His arm is around you, you’re leaning in close to him. 

You’re both pulling stupid faces for the camera.

And you can see the happiness in both of your eyes.

A lump forms in your throat as you stare down at it. It isn’t fair that you missed your shot at happiness with him, sure, it’s your own fault for not taking it seriously back in high school but if Hitch gets her way then he’s going to be gone for your life for pretty much good soon enough.

You are nowhere near over him. 

You are undeniably, unequivocally, unabashedly, head-over-heels in love with him.

And it hurts.

You stare down at the picture, trying to fight off the lump in your throat, the tears in your eyes when you hear a noise from outside the door.

Footsteps on the stairs turning into footsteps on the landing.

You shove the picture back where you found it and you positively dive back under the duvet, curling yourself up into a ball.

If anyone comes in, please let them believe you’re asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> 5 chapters is an estimate. might be more, or less. 
> 
> Catch me on Tumblr @Sailoreiss.


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